My Little Kendrick Alan VerHoef is here!.......

This is a long post so just beware!.... I know I tend to ramble but, this is my journal and I really want to remember these few special days.

So my little man decided to enter this world with a bang. He wanted to make sure he made a entrance that would get him some attention.  Well, he defiantly did that plus some.

Well, here is what happened..........

It all started Wednesday night.  I have crazy dreams while I'm pregnant but, I don't ever dream of my baby or anything of that nature.  Well, Wednesday night all I dreamt about all night long was the baby.  Every dream was the same and it was very vivid.  When I awoke in the morning I was very hesitant in telling Jeremy or anyone for that matter what my dream was about.  

Throughout the morning all I could think about was my dream.  I finally broke down and told Jeremy that I had a dream that night and I felt like something was wrong with the baby.  I quickly changed the subject about how crazy dreams are when your pregnant and I need to not worry.

So I did my best to put my crazy thoughts in the back of my head.  All day Thursday I felt like CRAP!!  I got upset at Jeremy for the craziest things (like making Desmond a toasted cheese sandwich), it was Karston's first day of school so I was crying thinking of him feeling alone or left out.  I was so worried that he wouldn't like school lunch and that he would be starving all day long.  It was a long long day.  That night after dinner I got the kids ready all ready for bed then fell asleep myself.  I wasn't feeling well so all I wanted to do was lay down.  

That night I felt like I needed to use the bathroom continually.  It was driving me insane. I felt like I was constantly peeing in my pants.  The thought that my water had broken crossed my mind a few times but, I didn't want to go to the hospital again I had been there so many times.  I just knew I would go in and the nurse would tell me I had just peed in my pants.  I was so emotional I didn't want to be embarrassed on top of it.

Friday morning Kiana came into my bedroom when she had woken up and asked for some help getting dressed.  I got out of bed and gush.  I totally peed my pants I thought.  I couldn't believe this.  The baby must be right on top of my bladder I thought to myself.  I went to the bathroom and changed my clothes.

After changing I got the kids ready for school.  Packed Karston a sack lunch (so I wouldn't be worried if he liked the school cafeteria food) and was about to walk Karston to school when I felt another gush.  Ahhhhh..... What is going on?  I thought to myself.  I have never peed my pants before why am I now?  I changed my pants another time and was about to walk Karston to school when my Father in Law offered to walk him in my place.  I took him up on the offer.  Because I didn't want to pee my pants while walking Karston to school talk about embarrassing your kids.  Well, at this point the thought that maybe my water had broken kept creeping back into my mind.  My water had never broken on its own before so I figured it just never would.  I didn't want to tell Jeremy because I knew he would want to take me to the hospital.  So I secretly called my Dr. and asked what I should do.  He said go to the Hospital.  Not the answer I was looking for.  So I broke down and told Jeremy.  His reaction go to the Hospital.  Again not what I wanted to hear.  Then I called my mom.  She told me to relax, shower, get a few things done and if it kept happening then go to the hospital.  Well, I took a shower and in the shower my dream from the past night crept back into my mind.  I knew at that moment I needed to go to the Hospital.

Jeremy and Desmond took me to the Hospital.  On the way in I made Jeremy promise not to make fun of me if I had just peed my pants.  He promised and we went into the Hospital.  The nurse came in and checked me.  Jeremy and Desmond were out in the hall.  She looked at me and said "your having a baby today!"  I was overwhelmed knowing this little guy would be 5 weeks early.  

Jeremy took Desmond to my parents house and called his parents and asked them to watch Karston and Kiki.  Everyone was so willing to help.  While Jer was gone they started my IV with antibiotics and Pitosin.  They didn't know if I was strep B positive so they wanted to run the antibiotics just in case.  The nurse said I had to wait until at least 4 o'clock to have the baby so that the antibiotics had the chance to enter mine and the babies system.

Well, the Labor was really normal.  It was just like my others.  After a couple hours I had the epidural and I was progressing at a steady pace.  At 3:30 pm they rushed through the 2nd dose of antibiotics. They put it in so fast that my veins were burning. After doing this the nurse checked me and I was fully dilated and the baby was coming whether I pushed or not.  The Dr ran into the room wearing a baseball hat and a quicksilver shirt.  He threw on the hospital gown thing to cover up his clothes asked me to push once and it was done.  My baby was here!  The doctor cut the cord and gave the baby immediately to Jon the RT.  I was trying to see what was going on with the baby while the OB was trying to finish up with me.  I could tell something was wrong.  I asked how much he weighed 5 lb 6.5 oz and 18 inches long.

Jon the RT looked over at me and started explaining a few things about the babies condition.  They quickly wrapped the baby up brought him over to me.  Laid him on my stomach for just a second.  I was so confused on what was going on.  I could tell Jeremy didn't understand either.

They took the baby out of the room and the medical staff finished up with me and left the room.  I was overwhelmed! I didn't really know what was going on.  The nurse said she would be back in a little when my epidural wore off to get me up and to remove my IV and epidural.  Well, she left my sister Kira and her husband Paul came by.  Then Jeremy's parents came over with Karston and Kiana.  I did my best to keep face and to be happy and excited.  But, inside I was just a mess.  I wanted to get out of that bed and see my baby.  I told Jeremy to go with the baby and to stay with him.  I feel so bad because I know Jeremy was worried about me and the baby and felt torn on who to be with.

Due to the situation none of the visitors stayed very long.  Jeremy came down to check on me and I asked him to hold my hand because I was going to get up.  Get dressed and go see our little baby whether the nurses liked it or not.  My epidural hadn't completely worn off yet so I was very unstable but, I made it to the bathroom and was feeling very determined.  While I was in the bathroom a nurse (who is a friend of my Dad's and was also the charge nurse) came in to check on me.  She noticed I was out of bed and asked Jeremy where I was.  Jeremy explained to her my stubborn attitude about being in bed and that I was going to get myself ready whether I was supposed to or not.  She ran into the bathroom and called a bunch of other nurses to start cleaning up my room.  To remove my IV and epidural tubing.  I was thankful for her compassion in knowing I needed to be with my baby.  So after everything.  I was dressed in my own clothes and down at the nursery 45 minutes after giving birth.  

(At this point the babies name was Jace.  That was the name Jeremy and I had both decided on earlier.)

While down in the nursery the RT and nurses were explaining to me the situation.  Our little baby had some infections and his lungs were not working properly.  I asked how he would have gotten a infection.  They explained it could be any number of things but, because my water had broken the night before he may have received a infection during that time period or it might be the strep B not having all the antibiotics.  I started to cry.  I couldn't hold back the tears this was all my fault.  If I just would have come in earlier.  None of this would have happened in my mind.  

That night they ran test after test.  All results did not look good for my little one.  They kept telling me different things they did X-Rays the X-Rays showed pneumonia and more infection.  They told me at that point they were going to be transferring him to a different Hospital. That was really hard for me because I knew I wouldn't be able to go with him.  It was emotional my Dad was there now working with the other RT and communicating with the pediatricians and neonatal Dr, I was thankful for my dad because he would fill me in on all the details I also knew my baby was receiving the very best care possible.  

That night was long!  They performed a procedure to help his lungs (cerfacton) and put him on the cpap machine.  That night I was not going to leave the nursery! Around 1 am they told us they would not be transferring him tonight. My Dad told us he was going home and that we should take comfort in that because he wouldn't leave unless he thought our baby was stable.  Jon the other RT pent the entire night there in the hospital just in case anything happened.  That night Jeremy and I were discussing his name we both started to feel like Jace was not the right name for our little guy.  I threw out the name Kendrick we discussed things for a little then decided that was the right name.  Then we moved onto a middle name.  We toyed around with a few different ideas but, decided on Alan.  Alan is my Dad's middle name.  It just felt right to pass on that name to our little guy who helped out so much!

That night was long.  Monitors going off every few minutes.  Watching the SATS monitor could potentially drive a person mad I have decided.  Around 6 am I got kicked out of the nursery for shift change (they wanted to talk about me without me being there) They told me I could go back in around 7 am. 

I went back to my room where I found Jeremy attempting to sleep on the pull out couch provided.  I woke him up and told him all the goings on of the night.  He told me to lay down and rest for the hour.  I set my alarm clock on my phone so I would wake up right when I could be down there.  Apparently I slept through my alarm and Jeremy didn't want to wake me knowing I had been up all night.  He went down to the nursery.  While Jeremy was down at the nursery some new results came in from some blood work they had drawn around 5 am.  They results were looking better!  They then told Jeremy he could hold the baby.  I wish I could have seen it but, apparently he just cried and cried.  He was so happy to hold him.  After Jeremy was done holding him.  He came down and woke me up and told me they would let me hold the baby.  I shot up out of bed and anyone who has had a baby before knows after you have been in one position for a little while it can be hard to get up.  I about fell over but, I was so excited to hold little Kendrick.  I walked down to the nursery as fast as I could and held little Kendrick almost all day.  I never left the nursery unless I needed to use the restroom or say hello to family.  I just felt like I couldn't leave him.  Later on that night the nurses kinda forced me out.  My in-laws brought me some dinner and I knew I needed to eat.  That night I was in and out of the nursery doing my best to sleep for a hour and stay down in the nursery for a few.  It was crazy.  

During that night they asked me to try and nurse Kendrick.  They were worried about his ability to eat.  We tried it out and failed miserably the first time.  About 3 hours later we tried again and he did it!!  He did a really great job! I was so happy!

The next morning the pediatrician came in and looked over the test results of that morning.  He sat down with me and started talking about what was going on with Kendrick.  I asked again how he thought he got the infections.

The Dr. said to me he thought the infections were not from my water breaking but, were something he had while in the womb  (a blood infection) and that the reason my water broke was because he was sick.  He then began to tell me how blessed I was to have been in my car accident a few weeks earlier.  Because it was then that I received the steroid shots to help develop Kendrick's lungs.  Without which he may have died or at the very least been in critical condition.  After a moment of silence I started to cry.  There really is purposes in everything.  The Dr. grabbed my hand and told me I could take Kendrick home with me that day.  I couldn't believe what he was saying.  I asked him if he was serious.  He told me that as long as he kept eating the way he was that there was no reason to keep him there.  The antibiotics and different medications they had given Kendrick in the hospital seemed to be working.  

I called Jeremy and let him know the good news.  I know he was in shock we did not expect this at all! Jeremy came to the hospital we ran some more tests and did all the normal baby stuff we hadn't done yet.  DTAB, Hearing testing, Car Seat Test, PKU, a BATH! Then we went home!!!

When we arrived home my in-laws had bought us a bassinet and set it all up perfect.  Again I was overwhelmed.  Later on that night my mom brought Karston, Kiana, and Desmond home.  They hadn't had the opportunity to see Kendrick up close yet.  When they came in I knew my life was good!  I'm so lucky to have 4 amazing kids!  They all were so excited to have baby Kendrick and me home to stay.

Yesterday I took Kendrick into the Dr. to make sure everything is still going well.  He is doing GREAT!  He is in the 2% of everything weight, head, and length.  The Doctor joked around with me that I liked to do things extreme because Karston was always in the 110% of everything.  

While at the Dr. office Vicki the Doctors nurse told me how she knows a angel was watching out for my little guy and how there really is a method to all of the madness out there.  When she said this I knew how right she was!  I am so thankful that I know that my Heavenly Father knows all and though I don't always understand why I know all things happen for a reason and if I put my life in his hands everything will work out in the end!