So have any of your husbands ever said something that just throws you back and you have to think to yourself "did I just hear that?" Well, Jeremy said something to me that other day that I really couldn't believe. I laugh almost every time I think about it. So here is what happened.....
As some of you know I'm a little OCD when it comes to the cleanliness of my house. I like organization and I tend to be a minimalist. I have actually gotten worse over the years. I don't know what it is I just want everything put away and the house to smell like cleaners.
So sweet Jeremy the other day told me how "cleaning the house is selfish" I seriously made him repeat himself. Yes, he said exactly what I thought he had "cleaning the house is selfish" I asked him why he thought that? He went on to explain how he didn't care if the house was clean, the kids didn't care if the house was clean. The only person that cared if the house was clean was me so in turn that made cleaning a selfish act.
WOW!, I never in a million years would have put cleaning the house into the selfish category but, I guess its all a matter of perspective.
Jeremy, went on to explain that instead of spending my days worried about scrubbing the kitchen floor I should be playing with the kids, building forts, reading books, ect....
I want to Thank Jeremy for his comment. It has really changed my perspective on cleaning. Its really okay if I don't get the laundry done one day if that means I had the opportunity to spend a little more time with my family. I still don't agree completely with Jeremy's comment. But, I'm going to better organize my time and clean while the kids are napping or at school. I'm going to do my best not to be obsessed with cleaning the house.
Jeremy Thank you for your perspective and for just telling me how you see it. I know I might not always agree with you but, listening and seeing things from your perspective has truly helped me become a better person.
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Oh I agree with you, cleaning the house is not selfish. Who would be happy living in a nasty cluttery dirty home? I know my husband appreciates that my house is always clean. I can understand that cleaning doesn't need to come first but it does need to be clean. Think of the little people crawling around and playing on the floor. It needs to be fresh!! But family first for sure! Our FHE was actually on quality family time and making sure we give Bella all the time we can.
sorry for the long comment but i'm pretty passionate about a clean organized home. it just helps everything rum smoother!
That is definitely a tough one. I am the one bothered the most when my house is messy but I think eventually it would bother my kids and husband. There is another saying "Clean enough to be healthy but messy enough to be happy." I have had to deal with the fact that I can not physically keep a clean house all of the time. I am outnumbered. The housework does wait for me to play and sometimes I have to set time limit for cleaning. My house isn't always spotless anymore but I have learned to cope a little better. Hopefully the kids will remember that I stopped cleaning to spend time with them instead of the mess.
I dont know if I agree with that. I think that dirty houses are yuck! I work for a family that never pickes up after themselves and they have not taught their children too. I think that it can take over if you do the big clean out all the time but have the floors clean and having things in there place so you dont trip over everything is a good thing I think. I know that it only takes about a half hour of my day to maintain my house and I think that there is nothing wrong with that. Your kids dont need you every sec. of the day and you are teaching them to not be lazy and get the things done that need to be done. My 19m old has chores and helps me to clean. SO I dont think there is anything wrong with a clean house it is just messy people who use that comment.
That is so true! As soon as I had Lola I learned that. I was stressing myself out over taking care of her and making the house spotless. So I realized that the time spent with her and my hubby is more important than a sink full of dishes :) I am glad I am not the only one who thinks that way!
Just remember cleanliness is next to Godliness. I hope that is spelled right.
Dude, Jeremy's logic was flawless. His statement was applicable in your family. I know it's not the same for everyone, but it's how it is for you guys. Having said that, I'm sure he appreciates clean as well.
But remember Mary and Martha, the better part.
Let him live in a dirty house for a while and see what he thinks. I do that to my husband from time to time and and it is a wake up call. You are not selfish
Sometimes hubby's are so wonderful. I am the same as you. The more powerful the odor of the pinesol lingering in the house, the happier I am that my house is clean and shiny and ready for tomorrow.
My hubby in the other hand could care less how clean our house is. Our kids are doing well in school, we are healthy and happy and we have food on the table for every meal. We get to do fun things together and enjoy the little things that make us a family.
There are times that I just want to scream because going to the park and the gym and maybe out on a date take priority over scrubbing the kitchen floor to him, but it is then that I just think, I could have a husband that would be really mad that dinner is never really ready when it should be and with three little ones.....he is the first to say the house will never ever really be spotless.. AND WE ARE GOOD WITH THAT!!!
Recently, I have gotten more and more urge to have a clean house. I notice that this causes some turmoil. Riley mentioned something to me about how it shouldn't sacrifice relationships. Recently, I had read 3 pages from men are from Mars, women/venus. Women respond and need beautiful surrounding. So I am trying to explain to Riley that while a hug and a caress for him says I love you, picking up after himself is a huge I love you for me, especially where thats less work for me in being a 'maid'. He's right though, when I know we need some together time, and I am going to fall in my tracks in exactly 30 min, sometimes I need to choose time w/ him, rather than cleaning up. This whole new year I've been trying to get everyone involved so I'm not the maid, bringing a dish to sink and rinsing it, teaching kids how to sweep up the pile, other one wipes the table, and clean as we go all day long, as part of the rituals and habits of our day (not my idea but thought it lovely--rough at first, now it goes fairly well) My fort building solution is blanket thursday, I never remind them, but that cuts down pillow and blanket disaster while letting them be kids. Its great we balance eachother out isn't it, male and female. Males are lucky that 'playing' comes more naturally, but maybe thats more in their domain. My 'play' with children is usually reading stories, or a learning activity or outing.
I think what he said is true to some extent. I know that when my house is at least clutter free I'm less stressed out. I feel like when I'm constantly stepping over toys or other clutter it makes me feel tense and on edge. I think it also makes everyone else in my family feel that way. I do like to spend a good amount of Saturday morning cleaning though and try the rest of the week to just get things picked up.
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